WaitCome Again?
by TheWackedOne
Summary: Harry Potter...meet....Harry Potter.I wrote this while bored. I tend to write things in that state....odd.
1. Harry meet Harry

**I OWN NOTHING……This story is strange…and ****im**** bored.**

There was once a boy.

He had a name.

Yes…..he DID have a name…..

What was it again?

Oh Yeah!!!!!

This PARTICULAR boys name was Harry.

Harry Potter.

He lived a nice normal life without an iPod, but he DID have a computer.

Occasionally when he was bored with his computer games, he looked up random stuff or read a book.

This time he went to Google Search, and, heck, for laughs typed in his own name "Harry Potter".

Sitting there being amused he waited for the page to load and without looking at it, he clicked the first result.

He looked at the screen.

He blinked.

He looked at the screen.

He shook his head to clear it.

Then he looked at the screen again.

There on the screen was the front cover of a book entitled "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone".

He shook his head, blinked, turned of the _screen_ of his computer off and went to…..yes try to bear it…he walked to a building he never remembered being in before…..

The LIBRARY!!!!!


	2. Mr trash man

**Ok. ****Im**** waiting for something to load and its an excuse not to do my homework, so ****im**** writing this.**

Here's another thing you may want to know about Harry Potter: he's a bit stupid.

Like REALLY dumb.

Un IMAGINABLY PATHETIC.

Anyways, here's Harry, standing before a large purple building with a sign marked "Large Old Abandoned Warehouse to be Made Into a Large Condo". Harry however didn't see the large towering sign. What he says is:

"Finally…after walking for 3 hours and about 7 miles I finally made it to the library!"

note: the correct way to get to the library from poor Harry's house:

Leave front door and face street.

Turn left and walk 30feet to the street light.

Turn left again, proceed 60 feet and turn left to face the library doors.

Total time: 3 minuets or less.

But Harry, grinning foolishly made his way up the steps to the moldy front door that was about to be torn down with the rest of the building. Or TRIED to walk up the steps to the moldy front door that was about to be torn down with the rest of the building. You see, the steps had been neglected, oh about 47 years, 59 days, and some-odd hours (13:56:23) and were quite rotten.

That is to say, they badly needed repairing.

Which means that as Harry stepped onto the second step (he always walks up stairs two at a time: it's a superstition) his foot fell through and he got a face full of baby mice, old newspapers, 4 day-old cat poop, smelly leaves, dead bird and rotten wood that had badly needed repairing.

Poor Harry…HA HA!!! Sucker!!!!!!!!!!!!

He sat up, bewildered and took a deep breath…and it isn't good to open your mouth when you've just had your face full of baby mice, old newspapers, 4 day-old cat poop, smelly leaves, dead bird and rotten wood that had badly needed repairing.

Not unpredictably, Harry gagged and threw up. Unfortunately for Harry he was sitting up and bending over his lap when he threw up. He looked up feeling a bit dazed since he just puked up his stomach and decided that this was NOT the library.

He decided that it was _defiantly _time to go home…but ot walk ALL THAT WAY!!!

He decided to call his mom on his cell phone…which wasn't in his pocket.

He decided to look for it.

He decided to give up when he couldn't find it after an hour.

He decided that life sucked.


	3. sucks to be you

Harry had decided he hated his life.

He had good reason.

He had a little "perfect" aka _obnoxious_ brother who's 8 years younger than Harry, being 7. He also had an ADORABLE baby sister who's 2 months old. But with great aborability and cuteness, comes great responsibility. And oh Yeah, WHO gets to be the "responsible older brother because you're the man of the house."?

Oh Yeah, who is that?

HARRY.

His life gets steadily worse when he got home and thought _My life is getting steadily worse._

For there, at the table was a man Harry never thought he'd see again…

Not that anyone else couldn't see him, Just Harry.

Ah hem.

For there, at the table was a man Harry never thought he'd see again…

His…

F…..

Ffffff…..

FATHER!!!!!!!!!!

There was his father, sitting with his brother, mom and mom's boyfriend, at the TABLE (with a game on tonight? Now THAT's self-restraint!!!), eating pasta and pizza, with a side dish on fries, (cheddar optional), all staring…

What are they staring at? Wondered Harry.

Oh yeah…they're staring at me…why?

Then harry caught his reflection (gripping his reflection tightly by the shoulders so it couldn't run off again) and examined himself closely.

He realized that he had…._stuff_….all over him.

**STUCK** to his face.

Ew.

Harry had gotten pretty used to his second face during the 5.14159 hours that it took to get home.

EwEwEw Squared times almost infinity.

With that Harry sidestepped out of the picture and appealed to the author:

¤۝۞۩•‡₪∆⌂☻☺☼♫♣♥♦♠◙♀◘¤۝۞۩•‡₪∆⌂☻☺☼♫♣♥♦♠◙♀◘¤۝۞۩•‡₪∆⌂☻☺☼♫♣

H- why does my WHOLE FAMILY have to be there?????

M- Cuz some people thought u were Harry Potter.

H- But I AM HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!

M- 'Course u are…just keep tellin yourself that….if it makes u feel better…

H- Wait, WHAT????

M- Sucks to be you huh? Oh well, its for me to know and for you to find out!

H- splutters

M- Good Luck!!!! –you'll need it…maybe I should enlist u into a psychologist's office…hmmmm….-


	4. i cudnt think of a title

Finishing his conversation with the oh-so-cool author (author-and I AM COOL!!!!!), he readdressed the crowd before him.

"Hi."

That (and the so-very-vibrant-blush Harry was wearing) gave his "cute little brother and everyone else at the table (except of course the baby….or not…maybe.) to spontaneously burst out laughing…at him.

And I don't mean, like small laughing like hahaha-ill-b-over-it-in-a-sec, kinda laughing, I mean the head-thrown-back-finger-pointing-hysterical-a-whole-hour-and-57-min. (or more) laughing.

This laughing was actually SO long, that by the time harry's DAD (the most serious 1 the table) stopped laughing, Harry had since taken a shower, stolen dinner from the table, finished his dinner, brushed his teeth, read something, fiddled on his computer AND fallen asleep.

Pete Potter now felt a little guilty. _Wait, GUILTY?__ I, __**P**__ETE __**P**__ALMER __**P**__AUL __**P**__AXTON __**P**__ERRY __**P**__ORTER __**P**__RICE __**P**__OTTER__-__ , never EVER feel GUILTY!!!!!!!_ (**this**** being the "funniest-thing-ever" apparently made the self proclaimed (drunk) badly-named-dude EVER, collapsed into laughter **_again_

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzAaBbCcDdEeFfGgHhIi

For the starz now:

Blush: interpretable in 2 ways: 1. Hes blushing or 2. Hes WEARING blush. Your choice.

The **P**'s - : they r real names. I looked them up.

123.4567890/-+!#$"" , .?/ was I?

Ok…dinner, laughing, P, explaining….ah. Here we are. Or rather here I am considering that I AM assuming we aren't in the same place. Yup and IM RITE!!! Go me!!

Weelllll. This is turning out to be a big waste of my time…and yours I gess. This chapter is USELESS.

Ill continue NEways.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Harry lay, dreaming peaceful dreams of being swallowed by a hunkacheese, when his dream changed. Of course, it was still peaceful, b/c otherwise hed be dreaming A peaceful dream..no S.

So, there he is when his dream changes. Now he's dreaming of himself….and how cool he is. In said dream, he is writing songs and poems to his loved one…himself.

(here is an example:

Harry, O, Harry, O Harry of Mine.

I Long for your coolness.

Because you are so cool.

You'll get every girl and dip them in chocolate.

And then let them melt in the sun…

Dreaming the whole time, of Harry.)

You may have caught on that his skills need some SERIOUS fine-tuning, and what hes's got here, is not exactly to die for.

The Dream Progrsses:

Harry seems to be floating above his head, when he looks up at himself and says "Hello." "Harry swoops down nearer and nearer, and loses control of his flight, and his lips touch Harry's and both Harry's run to the bathroom to puke out their respective guts.

Still, Harry is rather pleased with his dream choice.

Then, his dream changes again.

This time, he's walking to the pet store and buys a bird, which is eaten by a cat, as he strolls down the road, who turns into his teacher, who tries to kiss him, who turns into his gym teache who makes hin do 27 pushh-ups, but on the 79th, Harry realizes he did to many, and falls to beg mercy from his gym teacher, but he finds himself gripping his brother who's telling him to wake up or he wont get any pancakes.

_Im__ too tired for pancakes,_ thinks Harry. Then it hits him. _Pancakes? PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

He jumps out of bed and runs down stairs, turns up the hall, and bursts into the kitchen to find….

_**Well, I don't feel like continuing it here, so you'll just have to wait till I feel like **__**doin**__** the next **__**chappie**____**Todah**____**rabah**___

_**bibi**___


	5. showers, being tired and pizza

_To find……_

PANCAKE PLATES!!!!!!!!!! So, he looks in the sink to find….A FRYING PAN THAT THE PANCACKES WERE MADE ON….he goes into the living room to find….PEOPLE WHO ATE PANCAKES but….not a pancake in sight.

Harry screamed at the top of his lungs and turned to run out the door, but ran out of apple juice in stead.

He chose to walk "calmly" to his room and try to find something to do. There, he saw his computer. He sighed, walked over, and turned on the screen. While it loaded up again, he sighed and put his head down on his hands. He looked up and saw the HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCEROR'S STONE book-cover staring up at him.

He groaned and began smashing his body around telling himself that he cant believe he was so stupid as to STILL not have gotten the book. After thrashing himself, trashing his room, and eating pizza pie ice cream with little pieces of hotdog stuck in it (Harry's _favorite_ food), and fell asleep in his bathtub.

He woke up very cold in his clothes. For some reason, water was falling on his face. He sat up in shock as he realized that it was always his mom's time to take a shower early in the morning/late at night-depending on your point of view-and heard the door lock and the sound of clothes against skin.

_This is SO NOT my best week_ thought Harry.

He peeked thru the shower curtains (with his eyes trained close to the floor) and saw feet walking away from him. He quickly rolled out of the bathtub and hid behind the main toilet (another small toilet was added into the bathroom, (with walls and everything hiding it) that shared the same main door from the hall, but then you had to go thru the Green Door, instead of the Purple Door.) thanking every god he'd ever heard about real or fake that his grandfather had chosen to build that second room.

He shut his eyes tightly as he heard the footsteps come into the room again, listened to more clothing sounds and then the steps went into the shower and sighing moans followed.

Harry was just about to leave, when he heard the door open again. Heavier footsteps came in and Harry's FATHER (not stepfather) came in, sat on the covered toilet seat, and began speaking.

"Jamie, I know we're divorced and everything, but I'm starting to think….I want you back. I miss those long nights when we stayed up late…it was fun….can you divorce Steve and come back? I love you."

Harry could _practically see_ his father wringing his hands and swallowing nervously. Harry felt bad for his dad…his mom would kill him.

A voice came from the other side of the curtain. A voice that was DEFINATLY not mom's. it said "now, Im REALLY glad I convinced Jame to stop bathing this late."

Blackness enveloped Harry, who saw no more…..

O

Oo

Ooo

Oooo

Ooooo

Oooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

Ooooooooo

Oooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oooooooooo

Ooooooooo

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooo

Ooooo

Oooo

Ooo

Oo

O

Oo

Ooo

Oooo

Ooooo

Oooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

Ooooooooo

Oooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oooooooooo

Ooooooooo

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooo

Ooooo

Oooo

Ooo

Oo

O

Oo

Ooo

Oooo

Ooooo

Oooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooooo

Ooooooooo

Oooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooooo

Ooooooooooooo

Oooooooooooo

Ooooooooooo

Oooooooooo

Ooooooooo

Oooooooo

Ooooooo

Oooooo

Ooooo

Oooo

Ooo

Oo

O

Harry somehow managed to get to bed after his father had been so shocked, he ran screaming like a banshee from the room.

He knew only he needed to seriously get some sleep.

He also knows that under her own free will, and saying that she does NOT own anything from them and that the author would like to promote the following Authors of which her opinion is that they were written by females, for females: TAMORA PIERCE, DAWN COOK and KATE CONSTABLE.

The author thanx all readers abd will now continue:

Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways. For one, he had pizza dripping from his hair, for another, he was laying on his bed sopping wet, staring at the ceiling looking dazed.

He didn't feel like getting up this Monday, for school. His whole body felt like dead weights, and he couldn't lift himself, or move at all.

Why else do you think he's sopping wet, getting itchy and moldy but not moving?

Harry felt dead.

Then he remembered what day it was.

It was the 354 day of the year, warm, sunny and his birthday. He got kinda annoyed, because his momma normally let him stay home on his birthday, and now, even his feeling dead couldn't pay off.

THE FOLLOWING SENTENCE MAY NOT FIT UNDER THE K+ SECTION THS SITE

"Damn." Muttered harry, almost too tired to move his mouth.

But not too tired, just ALMOST too tired to move his MOUTH.


	6. wrapped up

**Ok. Sorry to anyone who cares, but im gunna wrap this up now because, I just don't want it hanging over me! hahaha!**

In the end. Harry finds the library, attempts to sue J. K. Rowling (obviously failing) and doesn't care. He starts caring when his family doesn't want to pay the court bills, and after stripping him of any money he has, kicks him out of the house.

He begins to boycott Harry Potter Books, and succeeds.

He gets rich, rubs it in his family's face, gets a girl friend, and lives like a king.

That is of course until one day when he's exceptionally bored…..


End file.
